On a lighter note...

What a day! We’ve all had those random days when all sorts of things happen that have us veering from one emotion to another. Today was like that.

This morning I spent an hour in our prayer room and felt God speaking about a few different things. The unity of Christians for one thing; and our Community centre and its role for another. I was asked to do a talk at our youth club in their Ethics series and then went to work. Once I began lesson planning I realise something about God’s timing: it’s always significant! Now I think I knew this before but it has been re-enforced by the fact that this term I will be teaching about What Christians believe about Prayer in the week that marks a year since my cancer diagnosis. Man, what a week that’s going to be! The message to my husband revealing the enormity of this fact is greeted by a reply text message: ‘on a lighter note Grandma has just given us 3kg of liquorice wheels’!

I laughed out loud at the sheer peculiar-ness of this. On the one hand real deep feeling about the cancer and God’s amazing timing (on lots of levels); on the other hand the idea of 3kg of liquorice being handed over to my hubby by his tiny Grandma…

As I carry on at work I am drawn to contemplate on the issue of what happens when a prayer warrior goes to be with her maker; where does that leave those she was praying for? I don’t know and my reflections haven’t moved me further on (yet). I come home and whilst on the treadmill Jon arrives home with the boys. Freddie has been sick! So half an hour of dealing with the aftermath of sick and putting dinner on for us and a friend who is joining us is followed by relative calm over dinner. 

Having done all of that I then went out to gospel choir rehearsal and sang my heart out for a couple of hours. Love it. 

What a day! What a mish-mash of so much, from one end of the spectrum to the other. I love how God is involved in all that we do, from revealing some of his infinite wisdom to us to the fun of 3kg of liquorice.

Busy, busy, busy!

Man, have I been busy this week; in fact I think this is probably the busiest I’ve been since the cancer diagnosis stopped me in my tracks last year.  A lot of work, (not all of that good) a lot of family, (all of that good) and spending time with friends too; then there’s Gospel Choir, Mums and Toddlers, food shopping, washing clothes and feeding small people… Phew! It’s no wonder I feel rather like I’ve been through the mangle this week!

Events of this past 12 months have made me more aware of my limitations. After the operation in April I had a period of about 3 months in which I could do next to nothing whilst my body healed. Having been a busy person before I was anxious to get back into all the stuff I had been doing and did so, rather too quickly! By August I was suffering again: still anaemic and boy did I feel it. After being prayed for I decided to stop much of what I was trying to do, to give my body time to recover properly and to try and prevent myself from taking on too much in the long term too. I found it very difficult to cut back but very quickly started to feel much better. And this week has shown me just how busy life could get again and how unsustainable that would be!

I am itching to do something more; especially as most of what I gave up was Church related and I believe that church members should be contributing to the life of the church, unless unable to. But I need to really find the right thing to get back into and to do it in a way that will be sustainable.

Lord, I want to be useful! And for a long time, not just a flash… So here I am Lord, send me.

Outlook: cloudy with a chance of sun!

Isn’t funny how the weather can really affect our mood and outlook? When the sky is dull with clouds and rain it feels like life is dull or difficult. When the sun shines it's somehow much easier to be positive about life and all it throws at us.

Earlier I was sitting at the dinner table having lunch with Solomon and the clouds gathered outside. It looked like it was going to rain and rain and rain. I could feel the clouds gathering in my head too. Then the thought popped into my head ‘Wouldn’t it be odd if the sun came out right now? God, you can do that can’t you?’ Within 5 minutes the sun was shining against the backdrop of big dark grey clouds and it’s still shining now nearly 2 hours later. The clouds haven’t gone, but they make an amazing contrast to the sun.

It’s a simple truth that life is hard. Especially when we rely on people! There are days when it feels like as though it’ll never stop raining; those big storm clouds gather in our heads and hearts and we wonder why we bother. When people we love let us down by being human and frail it’s easy and usually perfectly right to want to hibernate as though it’s blowing a gale and raining cats and dogs outside.  And God can be with us in that; he suffers alongside us I believe.

I also believe in hope. That sun battling against the clouds to me is a symbol of hope, God will win the war! There will be clouds in life, sometimes blanket rain clouds, sometimes big black storm clouds, and often when we least expect them. But the sun can break through; give us hope and shine all the more brightly for the clouds in the background.

So many of my friends need hope right now, may the Lord be your hope, your shelter in the storm.

New Year: New You?

So what will the New Year bring? The old year has taught me that we cannot really know. If someone had told me twelve months ago what the year would hold I would have laughed in their face! Either that or gone completely crazy. 

But that doesn’t mean we can’t make plans, just that our plans need to be held lightly. So what plans have you made? Maybe it’s all about losing weight or getting fit. Perhaps it’s to spend more time with family and/or friends. Maybe there’s something you want to give up, or start doing. Maybe it’s something that includes getting to know God a bit better or finding out more about Him. 

I’m reading a book called The Grace Outpouring, which you may already have read; it’s about blessings from God through prayer. As you might imagine after all the events of the past year, I have started being more deliberate about praying more regularly and this is a book about blessing others through prayer. If you’re at all interested in the subject then do get hold of a copy, the story is an amazing one, and I’m only one chapter 3!   

So, for me the new year will be about blessing other people. I believe that this is what God wants to do, not to judge us or condemn us, not to pick at our faults or run us down. His heart is to love his people and to show us how much he loves us by showing us good things.

And who knows, but maybe by praying for others to be blessed it will produce a new me!

The Lord bless you and keep you,

The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you,

The Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace.

Christmas Unwrapped

What is it about the Christmas season that makes it so stressful? Is it our own expectations? Where do these come from? I don’t really have an answer other than I guess life’s like that. And stuff like being ill with the ‘flu for a whole week doesn’t really help! Still, at this end of the celebrations I can say that actually it all went rather well. Presents were unwrapped, by the dozen it seemed; food was prepared and then eaten, with great enjoyment; everyone was on good form, despite my head feeling like someone had replaced my brain with cotton wool by the evening! There was no arguments, no drunken outbursts; no-one was ill or upset.  It was a very enjoyable day and for that I am grateful. I am also grateful for the ability to buy and enjoy new things, for the space to house toys and gifts, for the efficiency of our boiler and new home!

Of course in amongst all the traditions of the day we remember what it’s actually all about. I watched The Nativity on the BBC this year with great interest and a sense of wonder at the new lease of life given to one of the oldest stories. It was a fantastic reminder of just what we are celebrating: Jesus, God made man (or baby)!  Truly the people walking in darkness have seen a GREAT light.

However stressful our Christmas may or may not have been, we need to say a prayer for those whose Christmas has not gone to plan, or who didn’t have a plan in the first place due to lack of funds, home or family or perhaps due to poor health. I find that at the moment I am always being reminded of just how much we have and how important it is to be grateful for everything God gives us, including Jesus as a baby. 

I’m off to make space for the new toys by giving away lots of the old ones, and organising the recycling of the furniture we no longer need. I’m looking forward to the New Year, I hope you are too; may God bless you richly in 2011.